Like Sparrows

Wednesday morning I woke up early to the biggest headache, a knot in the pit of my stomach, and feeling absolutely devastated and exhausted by the events of the night before. Our four year old came in around midnight saying he was wet. I was so tired I never even woke up. My husband carried our son down thinking he might have wet himself only to step into ankle deep water in our newly carpeted basement we had just had installed two months earlier and were to the point of doing mostly finishing touches in. My husband proceeded to pump out window wells and start sucking up water with a shop vac and got me up about 40 minutes into it. We both were frantically tossing clothes and toys into bins, and sucking up water with the shop vac and a wet vac while tears flowed down our faces and only pausing briefly a couple times to hug, pray, and wonder aloud how in the world are we going to clean up such a big mess or pay for all of it as we noticed one of our brand new egress windows had a completely cracked pane as well.

Two days before, we had finally gotten the bill for framing out our newly made rooms including the materials as well, followed by our dumpster bill the next day. It would eat up the last of our savings. We were intent on our kids not having to stay on mattresses on the floor of the two shared rooms in our basement this year or our youngest having to stay in our walk in closet another year. With thirty year old carpet and deeply smoked in smells and knowing we had plans to paint, add two additional bedrooms, and change up carpet, we didn’t want to get everything out of storage yet. Of course, as with any remodel, there were so many unexpected expenses along the way as well as different health bills we were just not anticipating that really ate up a lot of our finances. My recent health news after getting a physical for life insurance only meant there were going to be even more expenses soon. Oh, the lies I’ve encountered feeling like such a burden through all of this and wondering if my family would be better off without me.

My sister was the only other person who really knew just how desperate a situation we were in as I had told her my husband would probably be ready to build her fence soon to earn some extra money. When I told her what happened over night, she was sad along with me, but had so many words of encouragement. As she mentioned meditating on different verses for healing, tears were streaming down my face as I read her texts when a small sparrow flying onto a branch caught my eye. There it sat so peacefully when everything around it looked so gloomy when a reference came to mind and gave me some peace:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

I didn’t know how God could turn this situation around for our good like He promises to. However, I’ve been trying to base my life on what God says rather than what I feel. I know He always keeps His promises. That day, a new gracious friend came over just to pray over us, give us snacks, post-it notes for my daughter I mentioned her wanting, and a sweet card with an incredibly generous check that had both my husband and I tearing up. Our sister’s family brought us over pizzas and both she and her husband and another couple from their missional community group came over to help move furniture. A dear friend I kept missing at church came over just to give me a hug and encourage me. Another sweet friend of ours asked me daily if she could babysit while I cleaned and handed me an envelope with a generous cash gift as well. A neighbor brought over his dehumidifier and had his son set it up in our basement. Our nice chiropractor stopped by just to bring over hers as well. Others prayed over us, asked if there was anything they could do, some multiple times, and were just so thoughtful in all of this. We felt like we truly had family here with so many people investing in us in various ways.

I know there are others who have had it so much worse, and I can’t even begin to express how thankful we are for people thinking of us. It’s been hard and humbling of course, but it’s been good. God never ceases to amaze me. He has been so graciously teaching me that I can trust Him again.

I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but God sees it. People might say what you’re going through is so small and insignificant compared to what other people are going through or you may be telling yourself that even, but don’t go on shaming yourself for feeling the way you feel. It doesn’t change anything, and your feelings are valid. If it matters to you, it matters to Him. Not one sparrow falls to the ground without God caring. Not one hair falls out without Him noticing. You are worth more than MANY sparrows. You are valuable and you’re more than enough. I’m so thankful to those who have reminded us that God cares and God sees. I pray we can do the same for others. We’re not alone. God is with us, and He truly cares.