Count the Cost

Everything worth having in life, everything of value, will cost something. Thankfully, we have Someone who already took our punishment and paid the price for our sins. That part of Christianity is such good news that I hope it always brings me undeniable joy. However, I’ve found that when I am truly living for Christ, when Satan considers me a threat, my life hasn’t gotten any easier. In fact, I’d say sometimes it seems like it’s done exactly the opposite.

I read in Revelation 12:17 (TPT) this morning, “Then the dragon became enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the remnant of her offspring who follow the commands of God and have the testimony of Jesus.”

As Christians, Satan seeks to make war against us. We bear God’s image and He prepares a feast for us in the presence of our enemies. We’re a threat. We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood; it’s an illusion. We have an enemy who will do anything he can to get us to battle each other, to put each other down, to get us stuck in bitterness, wallowing in self-pity, or just not fully living our lives or showing the unconditional love Christ has to offer. Loving the unlovable is hard. Forgiving people unworthy take tremendous strength and a self-realization that we don’t truly deserve to be forgiven either. God loves us and others so much He will allow us to be put to the test in order to refine us and give hope to others through our testimonies.

Sometimes the Holy Sprit leads us into the wilderness where we’ll be tempted for 40 days with no food or water to sustain us so we’ll have to lean on Him and His truths. Other times, He points us out to our enemy because He’s proud of us and seeks to grow and bless us even further knowing that we’ll face rejection and accusations from those closest to us. At times, He might give us dreams that make our siblings jealous enough to sell us into slavery. He commands us to not bow down to idols knowing that it could get us thrown in fiery furnaces, or calls us to just go about our daily lives living for Him knowing it could get us thrown into a den of lions. Sometimes He’ll call us to positions that might seem unlikely to everyone around us. He might even make it known long ahead of time and have us humble ourselves and serve the same position He’s called us to, and an authority who tries to kill us. Sometimes He asks us to marry and show unconditional love to people completely undeserving and have us walk out of societal norm and our comfort zones, knowing it could get us killed. Sometimes He’ll ask us to have compassion and heal those who will seek to destroy our lives and die for the sins of those persecuting us. I could go on and on. There are countless stories that cannot contain all the things He’s done or what He’s called us or others to, and He is always doing a new thing, yet His truths are always the same. While Christianity won’t make our lives any easier or save us from pain, it gives purpose to our pain. Pain without purpose frustrates me to no end.

Life is full of choices that all come with a cost. I seek to always ask questions, and follow the trail those questions lead me to. I want to make wise choices while I still have the ability and freedom to choose rather than a life bound to painful consequences and regret. Having a big family and multiplying ourselves like God commanded and seeing children as blessings in a world that tries to devalue life requires daily sacrifices. However, it also means that God can extend His work further than He ever could through my husband and I alone. It hopefully means a future with grandkids that we can enjoy without as much effort, and at times give our kids a break while helping them appreciate all we put into their own lives. With five kids, it also hopefully looks like a future that’s not alone in a nursing home. Choosing to work towards health daily now, will hopefully eliminate the need to work on my illness later. Not to mention, the premature burdens it might put on my loved ones. Choosing to worship Jesus daily and living for Him while it’s resisted means an early start to an eternity with the One I love and not feeling forced to bow to Him later when I don’t have the choice. Living a life of purity, resisting peer pressure, and saving myself for my husband might have cost popularity or made me stand out in a world that cheapens sex while still putting it on a pedestal. However, it also meant I could and can continually offer myself to my spouse naked and unashamed and enjoy him without fear of painful memories, STDs, or other consequences. Choices in life all come at a cost. They will cost me or those close to me now or later. My life already cost Jesus His. I want my life to be worthy of the price He paid for me. I don’t want to do anything in life without counting the cost first. It allows me to walk in confidence and purpose, knowing that while I might be immature at times, I’m doing the best I know how in whatever season I’m in and God can use me.

~*Questions of Existence*~

Everyone’s bound to have an off day,

But what about more than two?

What if you spent the last few years

Realizing off-days are what got you through?

What do you consider an accomplishment?

How do you measure success?

What questions of life are you answering

When ignoring the Creator’s test?

Why do you drown out the silence

Whenever your thoughts run too deep?

Why do you ignore Purpose’ whisper

When asking you to take faith’s leap?

Why does loneliness hurt you so?

Seeking happiness from meaningless lovers

And when you find they’re just as selfish

You go searching for another?

How do you view yourself?

Is happiness only found with perfect body size?

Then why are countless models killing themselves

After listening to society’s lies?

Have you ever wondered what you’re seeking

When your soul always hungers for more?

What are your reasons for living

When you have nothing you would die for?

Is life supposed to be an endless chase

To reach happiness on the “come-and-go?”

And while going this false route

Why does your conscience hurt you so?

Is life meant to be this painful?

Is love supposed to hurt?

After living your meaningless life

Do you just decay into dirt?

When you don’t know where you’re heading

Which direction should you go?

Are these questions you’d like to keep asking

Or would you really like to know?

If someone found true answers

Would you take it as reason enough?

And would you be willing to keep on going

When the going gets real tough?

What if one that found Truth

Said Jesus is the only way

Would you follow ’til it wasn’t so easy

And then again be led astray?

Now that you’ve heard truth

Have you counted the cost?

Between a life of gain

And a life always lost?

What’s it going to be,

Your response to His call?

Will you live a life worth living?

Or one worth nothing at all?